It’s been over a month since I moved to Malaysia. My brain is full of thoughts, my time full of experiences. It feels like a mix of everything, positive emotions together with the feeling of instability.
Starting a new life (again), no strings attached. People come and go, so do I. Yet it is not what I want anymore. There are too many valuable individuals I have met – my friends in Poland and in whole Europe, in the Americas and in Asia. I want to keep these strings attached.
Moving in to new place means changes.
It means getting new perspective, starting new projects or continuing what you have started before, yet with new perspective gained. Sometimes you can get lost in it, though. This is how I feel right now, little bit lost with my own thoughts; with “no-past”, as people do not know me, they do not know my experience, my capabilities, my developing points. So I start again, but slowly: showing who I am; sharing just with one story at the time, not opening too much, sometimes almost forgetting about the things that made me who I am, and that me happy about who I am.
And that is when the question pops up in my mind: are the things that you achieved, would you still be able to that now? Your gifts, do you use them? Do you share with them?
I am not scared of trying new things, I can explore, travel alone, be the one in the team that makes impossible happen. Yet there is one thing that scares me, the one that puts lot of pressure on me, and that it is myself. Me and my over-thinking, my judgements on myself (cause you always know when the things didn’t work as you planned), my skills and my knowledge that always could be better. All of this stops me from taking the action, from doing. And this is when I saw this video that my friend posted, about fearing your gift. Just asking those simply three questions to yourself:
Where is my attention? What is my intention? What do I love?
By asking myself I’m coming back on track. It’s the process, I need some time for it, but I know it’s the right direction. For anyone who is a little bit lost with own thoughts, I do recommend to ask yourself these questions and think about what Darden Smith said in the end:
Open up. Give off all of yourself…and when you can do that, you can change the world.