Building relational interdependence for independent freaks

Why building the relationships becomes more and more difficult?

As a woman, as a traveller, I have learnt how to be independent. Wherever you go, no matter how much support you get, in the end it’s your journey. You’re by yourself – managing the budget, making decisions, having feelings and emotions. Sometimes it’s extremely enjoyable, sometimes you wish you could share these moments with someone. But in the end, you get used to, you adapt.

Now, what happen when you travel with another person? Now everything doubles – all the challenges and opportunities related to travelling together – two opinions, two perspectives, four hands and four eyes. It’s difficult to switch the mindset – one traveller to two travellers.

When with someone, the perception of “independence” changes. Because now there is this another person that has your back, you don’t have to do everything by yourself, someone looks after you.

And as long as many would say “how convenient”, it actually takes the time to mentally move from being independent as an individual to the relational interdependence.

How to make the switch?

  1. Let it go – what scares the most, is that you will loose your independence. This is the thing that may hold you back from some of the most precious moments if you don’t let it go. As always, it’s easier to say it than to implement it in life, and I’m still working on it myself. What helps me, is to remind myself that no one tries to take my personal independence.
  2. Create new – by building relational interdependence you become a part of the process of creating your new independence, this time thinking not only about yourself, but also the other person, with whom you can cherish the travel moments together. It’s like a life lesson on personal growth.
  3. Appreciate other – this one can be challenging, yet at the same time the most enjoyable one. Remember that there are two of you and that you both build relational interdependence together. It means that the other person also makes certain compromises, and you might not always realise that. So, sharing the appreciation for the other person, as well as for yourself, is crucial to create the relationship in which you both feel good as individuals.

What have been your experiences building relational interdependence with other people? Share your experience, and let’s learn from each other.

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